3 Essentials for a Newly Single Father
Being a single parent is never easy, no matter how well-mannered or mature your children are. The death of a spouse is devastating, whereas divorce/separation can be emotionally and financially draining. A messy divorce often leads to parents fighting for sole child custody, or trying to get out of child support. Sometimes one of the parents does not want anything to do with the children so all the responsibilities lie upon the shoulders of the other. Newly single fathers struggle more than newly single mothers because most of them are not accustomed to handling nonfinancial needs.
Be Cheerful and Positive
You obviously need some time and space to mourn or act out after parting ways with a partner. Everyone deserves some time off from being a sensible adult and living pathetically is part of the ‘getting over someone’ process. However, when you have kids to look after, standing strong and supportive is the key.
Looking like a slob or sobbing uncontrollably is not a fitting sight for them to witness. They are more heartbroken than you are because the woman you lost was their mother, and mothers are hard to replace.
You may hold a grudge against your ex-wife or despise her for valid reasons, but the children do not need to know that. You have to ensure that they get back to a normal routine as soon as possible. You can accomplish this by making them smile and being there for them with the right kind of advice or help.
Maintain a Dad’s Role
Many single dads tend to be lenient and fall for their kids’ tantrums. They are constantly trying to be their child’s friend, which is impracticable if not childish.
You have to remember that you are the father and you have the upper hand. You cannot skip the generation gap or expect your children to accept you as a ‘buddy’.
They will probably manipulate you into agreeing to unjustifiable things and take advantage of your empathy.
You will have to make them eat their vegetables, obey curfews, and be responsible for their actions.
Whether you are broke or rich, do not attempt to buy your children’s love or succumb to their unwarranted wishes.
Nothing good will come out of it; you will either end up with spoiled brats or start looking up bankruptcy lawyers in the near future.
Don’t Rush into Finding a New Mother
Since the mother of your children left, you have the right to start a new chapter and allow yourself to fall in love again. You might find the ‘perfect’ woman sooner than you think, and even better if she prefers a prenuptial agreement.
Nonetheless, you need to take things slow and not hurry into bringing your new love interest home. You need to remember that you are a dad and a lady you just met may not be ready to become a mom to your kids (even if she says so).
Maybe she has kids of own as well, so how will it work out? Things can get complicated, so every step needs to be taken wisely.
On the other hand, your children will not appreciate the gesture either. They want your complete attention and sharing it with a stranger (or strangers) will not make them happy.
Wait for your relationship to blossom and make the introduction least imposing as possible (for both parties).